From top of the class to settling for less: The barriers holding women back

A recent article about my high school in Kosovo highlights that 19 of the top 20 students in the 12^th grade were girls. For many, this may sound like a striking anomaly, but in reality, except for some signals in highly developed countries, this is a familiar pattern seen across many countries and generations. This includes outperformance in reading (roughly equivalent to one year of schooling), and higher completion rates in primary and secondary education. The narrative shifts dramatically once women step into the workforce, into the “real world.” There, boys who once skipped homework or weren’t exceptional students often land top jobs and higher salaries—even in jobs that on paper require top grades—while many top-performing girls are forced to settle for less.

International Women’s Day is a moment to celebrate women’s progress: It was not always the case that girls could go to school, and not always the case that they would be given opportunities to excel once there. It is still not the case in many countries today. Yet this day is not only about celebration—it is also a moment for reflection. Persistent inequalities continue to shape women’s lives. 

While we recognize women’s efforts, we must also ask whether society truly rewards them equally. It is a time to confront difficult questions: Why is women’s excellence in school often not translated into success in the workforce? And why is that important?

The stereotypes and biases holding women back

In many cultures, girls were traditionally held to stricter behavioural standards from an early age—told to sit properly, be modest, and take on household chores—while boys enjoyed greater freedom, with their misbehaviour often excused because “boys will be boys.” These characteristics are internalised and play an important role in our adulthood. Role congruity theory suggests many people subconsciously link leadership with “male characteristics,” leading to biased evaluations of women in leadership positions. 

Women tend to face a dilemma: when they demonstrate assertive behaviour to fulfil the expectations of their roles, it often leads to negative perceptions of being too “bossy.” By not being assertive, though, women don’t meet leadership expectations and look weak. In both cases, women are likely to face negative evaluations. Unlike men, who are often assessed solely on performance, women have to carefully tread between being likeable and competent. This can often lead to exhaustion, self-doubt, and giving up on leadership prospects.

The exhausting balancing act

The ingrained societal conditioning is compounded by the heightened expectations placed on women, which often require them to work harder and provide more vidence of competence and determination to achieve the same level of success as men—often for less pay. Though women have gained more rights, traditional expectations persist, as if those rights come at the cost of continued unpaid labour. 

Despite the growing involvement of men in family chores, studies suggest that women still perform twice as much housework as men, creating stress that deters professional advancement. Those who pursue careers are not only expected to succeed professionally and contribute significantly to household income—to “make up” for their absence at home—but also to take on the bulk of childcare and domestic responsibilities, and even meet unrealistic beauty standards. The relatively widespread portrayal of today’s “successful woman” across many cultures—mostly due to media and social media pressure—is an exhausting (if not impossible) set of expectations, requiring women to excel at a career, money management, family chores, child care, and social life, all while having a model’s appearance.

Limited support systems

In the past, many working women could rely more on their parents or in-laws for household support or childcare. With the shifting family structures, women today find themselves navigating even more responsibilities without that safety net. Additionally, the limited number of women in leadership roles in the workplace further isolates them, leaving them with fewer people who can relate to them. Women often face professional loneliness, which intensifies as they advance in their careers, with fewer networking opportunities (or lack of time to pursue them), and reduced access to informal career-enhancing groups, which are often dominated by men.

Why this matters for democracy

The combination of factors that girls and women face—some more than others—such as gender biases, excessive expectations, and limited support systems, leads to burnout and disappointment. This compels many women who had lofty ambitions and achieved academic excellence to accept paths they would not have chosen, paths shaped instead by social structures that limit their choices or steer them in a certain direction. We have to be more proactive in dismantling these structures and creating an inclusive system in which all the discipline, hard work, and potential are given an equal opportunity to thrive. 

We have fought for women to have a chance to access education and the workplace; we must make sure that is worth something. We need to switch our attention from solely celebrating the achievements of women to asking if they reap the same rewards as men, starting from equal pay to reassessing our expectations. Societies and policymakers must take action to address the structural issues that often relegate girls from the top of school to the margins of society. Otherwise, we don’t just limit individual potential thriving but also risk having exclusionary, narrow-minded leadership, further reinforcing systems that silence diversity and competition—harming boys as well. When talent is overlooked, societies lose out; if women are forced to settle for less, so does democracy.

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent the institutional position of International IDEA, its Board of Advisers or its Council of Member States.